Down with the Pants... er... wait...

I know I haven’t written in a while. Hopefully I can start posting with some regularity soon. I will say that my hectic life offline is going very well and I’m extremely happy. Lots of love to everyone!! 

Summer has started. If you live near me, summer started sometime at the end of April. Last month I decided to boycott pants because of the high humidity and very hot weather. To me summer is BBQs with friends, lazy summer nights by camp fires watching the stars, fresh food at the farmer’s market, more quality time with my son, planned (learning) vacations. It’s actually one of my favorite times of year because of how lazy and easy going it is even if the rest of my life is not like that. But summer also means it’s bathing suit season.

Maybe you’re like me; I really don’t care about how I look in a bathing suit anymore. I’m more concerned that it covers the right areas it’s supposed to, rather than looking cute/sexy/whatever it is you’re supposed to look like in a bathing suit. As I’ve lost weight over the years I’ve noticed bathing suits getting baggy. That’s definitely something you don’t want!! Playing in a pool with kids is not the time to become a flasher. Save it for the rock concerts, people!

For some reason the summer is when I like to off load the extra weight I’ve been carrying. Probably something biological there, but I'm not going to look too into it. I will continue to think the skimpier clothing choices spur my motivation. I’m going to give you some tips that I’ve used in the past. Maybe this will help someone else.

Keep a Food Journal

I can hear you audibly groaning. Yes, I hate doing it too!!! I did it in the beginning when I first started losing weight. It wasn’t to police myself or to beat myself up though; it was to count carbs to see where I was for the day. I would weigh myself daily (not something I recommend) and put the weight loss for the day next to the food. Now, I can look back and see what I ate for the first month if I want to lose weight again like that. If I had not kept a food journal I wouldn’t have had a way to look back and find the hidden carbs and where I was unwittingly doing some self-sabotage. Even now I keep a list of ideas for meals that we’ve had that have been successful. That’s what my journal has morphed into over the years.

Read the book / find the meals

Consider it part of your summer book club reading. Pick the book you want to follow. When I decided to lose weight I read the book (Atkins’ New Diet Revolution). I loved it because Dr. Atkins talked about all the foods you could eat on the diet. Here’s a sample:

sauteed portobello mushrooms in garlic and butter sauce, beef shish kabobs with multicolored peppers and summer squash, scrambled eggs and bacon, lobster in drawn butter, juicy steak, avocados, vegetables with blue cheese...

One of the reasons people hate diets is because they believe it has to do with starvation and bland meals rather than lavishness and treating yourself well (i.e. love and respect!!). So what I did was write down all the foods I loved to eat but couldn’t have when I was eating low-fat. I did plan some meals, but for the times I didn’t I made sure I was surrounded by choices that felt so decadent that I couldn’t believe I was “dieting”!! Now this is the way I live. Eventually it will be the same for you. In the beginning since it’s going to take some effort anyway so at least make it worth your while. Some of the meals Dr. Atkins’ described, I ate. I didn’t want to equate this way of living to pain, suffering, and misery.  I knew I was going to be doing this for a lifetime so it better be something I love. I know I can’t always afford the extremely decadent meals. My daily meals are better tasting than they were before. And I figure if you’re going to treat yourself to something, might as well be full fat and delicious!

I really did want to be that girl that eats anything and still looks fabulous – without a lot of guilt, reinforced undergarments, or excessive exercise!! I have achieved that. The foods I don’t eat I don’t miss because their side effects were too painful. Therefore I don’t want them anymore. What I do want is the food that makes me feel good. Picking your favorites from what is offered is a great start. I eat lots of full fat, red meat while other girls are nibbling on bland chicken. Yes, I’ll have some of that very fatty cheese. I call dibs on the deviled eggs! Yes, please pass me the macadamia nuts! Oh? There’s bacon! Why didn’t you say so?! I’d love to have some more of that. That's been cooked in raw butter? Coconut oil? Lard? And it’s gluten free? I’ll take it. No, don’t bother. Just hand the whole plate over. Did someone say pate? Yes, I might sound gluttonous. I never hide the fact that I do like food. I will throw down like a starved teenage boy some days. But I can only eat as much as my stomach will allow in one sitting. Those foods are entirely too filling for me to eat hefty amounts around the clock. And really – feeling full and not obsessing over food is the best feeling in the world!! You can go to the pool full and leave feeling satiated. You can spend time with your family. It is not fun to be planning your next meal while you should be paying attention to your kid.

Enjoy the summer

I’m not going to tell anyone to exercise. That just seems so hypocritical of me – I barely exercise. (Much less than the 1 hour a day “they” tell you to anyway). But I do think being out in the sun helps – get free vitamin D. Relaxing will lower your stress and help combat the inflammation in your body. I know it also helps me sleep better when I do it. So, if you go to the pool lay out. Don’t burn. I don’t bother with the sunscreen. But I’ve never been one to follow other people’s rules. Eating lower carb will help you stay looking younger, so I don’t even worry about wrinkles caused by the sun. (I hypothesize that worrying causes wrinkles… and who wants their face to freeze like that?!) Enjoy yourself. Find something that is summer related that you love and have fun with it.

So, those are my three tips. I figure that’s a pretty manageable list for the summer. Did I miss your favorite tip? If so please leave it in the comments below.

Until next time!

Fatty, fat, fat...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.

~ Miss Piggy

Today someone told me I was fat.

Ok, not in so few words. Actually it was that I am “at the weight where people start to think about losing weight.” and something along the lines of “keep going” because I’ve got a long way to go still. We weren’t even fighting. It was polite conversation… well, until they said that.

You know… It’s just not nice punch someone in public no matter how much they deserve it.

I don’t know why people think that if you’ve got extra padding on your meat suit that it makes verbal bashing bounce off you more easily. We’re all human – and we all hurt the same. I’ve been tiny and huge. I’ve got friends that fit both ends of the spectrum and everywhere between. It’s unacceptable to talk to people like that. I assume these people saying these things are emotionally hurting very deeply or stupid. Not ignorant - like they don’t know to say these things. Nope. They’re stupid.

One of the things I am teaching Reece is that everyone has opinions. They’re not right or wrong. They are just opinions. The problem begins when you don’t believe in yourself long enough to realize others’ opinions are not facts.

The weekend that I decided it was time to start losing weight, my 5-year-old son told his dad on the phone that I was disgusting when I sat down. Reece said I grossed him out. This was something his father was teaching him to say, not something he thought on his own. Even now Reece doesn’t think there are “fat people” in his class. (Fact: Not true. I applaud him for looking past it or being unaware.) I was used to his father telling me I was fat. He hinted at it when we were dating. Then when we got married he constantly said it. It’s completely different when you hear your child say it. My self-image was never that great to begin with, which is why someone like that would be allowed to get that close to me.

This girl 

and this girl

have the same problem: Neither like themselves. But you wouldn’t know from talking to either of them. Yeah, that’s me in both pictures.

Being overweight is not a reflection on your character. It’s a physical manifestation of the food you’re eating and what your body is doing with it. Not stopping to reflect before you open your mouth, saying stupid stuff to others that will hurt their feelings – those are reflections on your character.

I can’t wait until the LC lifestyle becomes mainstream because that will help debunk the myth that people who are heavy are lazy. I am finishing my B.A. – full time college student here. I’m a single mom. I work full time and my commute is like another part time job. That should be enough right there… but it’s not for me! I also have hobbies. I’m passionate about life! I love my son and I want to be involved. I do way more than some “skinny” people I know. The lazy myth just cracks me up and makes me shake my head. 

Maybe it’s that I’m 30 now. I heard that when you turned 30 you would like yourself and feel more comfortable in your skin than you do any younger age. My entire 20s I looked forward to my 30s. I don’t necessarily think it’s the years (turning 30), but the amount of time you spend getting over hurdles that are of varying difficulty. Basically, proving yourself  to yourself. I’ve always known I have incredible inner fortitude. I’ve been through some crap and I respect myself a lot more for it. I used to look at those high school pictures and wish I looked the same.

I’ve got news for you. I don’t want to be that girl ever again.

In high school I used to get so angry looking in the mirror because I thought I was ugly. I cried when I would be forced to go off my low-fat diet (and lash out at others for full fat dressing – really). I hid my body in baggy clothes because I was embarrassed of my figure. I pretended I didn't care what others thought, but people and their opinions still got to me. I attempted to contort myself into someone I thought others would like outwardly, while still trying to maintain some resemblance of myself inwardly. It’s a tightrope act. No one makes it out of that alive. When I was younger every accomplishment made me feel empty because I was chasing someone else’s approval. It never came. I ended up in some horrible relationships and situations because of it.

It is true you have to love yourself first. The difference is night and day. I like who I am now. Even now I am working on loving myself more. I am proud of myself and the things I’ve done. I dress better now and show off my curves because I’m hot. I see a pretty face when I look in the mirror. It’s nice to be found attractive, but its amazing to feel good about yourself without others telling you that. I think I’m nicer now to others because I really don’t care what others think. I treat others like I would treat myself - with love. I respect myself, and now others do too. Today it’s easier to walk away from other people’s opinions. Because that’s just what I did when that person said that. I walked away.

I don’t put up with that anymore.

In the world of squiggles and curly Qs

AHHH! Busy, busy, busy.

I had some very stressful weeks recently. I decided to take off blogging and other fun hobbies and attend to my "interesting" personal life. Since you’re here and reading, I appreciate you! (Big squeeze hugs!) It got so busy I had to contact my college and drop a class so I'm not attending full time right now. I just couldn’t do it. I’ll return shortly to full time status. I just know my limits. Some days I’m super-woman, some days I feel sub-human. (It usually has to do with the amount of sleep I get... which ties into how busy my life is.)

At the beginning of the year I like to review the past year. That’s when I decide what kind of goals I have for the next year. I usually line this up for my birthday rather than use New Years. I mean, what’s another month?! I'm usually starting when people start giving up. This year was extra special because in February I turned 30. A whole new decade awaited me!

I know for some women getting older can be depressing. I just don’t get that! All I’ve heard is how women feel more comfortable in their skin in their thirties. You finally are financially stable (or at least not begging mom and dad for cash every week), established in your career (or at least know what you want more than you did in your twenties), you have a family (or are starting one), etc. Being more comfortable in your skin, knowing what you want, realizing you can go get it? None of that is bad so it baffles me why people mourn their twenties. I say good riddance, but my twenties were pretty poopy.

One of my goals was to start eating more fermented foods. Since my hands started exploding into something that looked like a horror film – from eating gluten – it seems obvious I need to do some gut healing. (Your immune system is basically in your gut, in case you didn't know. I think that's why we say stuff like "I have a gut feeling" or "Go with your gut"...) Reece was really sick and couldn’t shake it for a couple weeks this winter. Adding more beneficial bacteria just seemed like the best thing to do for both of us. Lo-and-behold! There was a class online about fermented foods! Ask and ye shall receive.

After freaking out at home, at work, at school and pretty much anywhere else for the past 3 weeks… I took some time out this weekend to make ketchup.

Ketchup?

Yes. Ketchup. I bought a massive amount of tomatoes and made paste (recipe below). Then I used whey I got from separating it from yogurt cheese (recipe below again) a few weeks earlier. It was relaxing. I’m excited because it’s something I made completely from scratch! I’m looking forward to eating it, giving the extra away – making more!!! I can make gluten-free, additive-free ketchup! Amazing.

So, this morning I explain that I did this to one of my co-workers. He said “Yes, because when I think relaxing, I think slaving over a hot stove.” Ok, maybe it’s not for everyone. Necessity is the mother of – ketchup, I guess. So we converse about fermentation (why would you ferment ketchup?). Well, fermentation allows the ketchup and other homemade condiments to last for up to 6 months (less or longer depending on what you made) because the bacteria keeps mold and other harmful substances at bay - while pumping your gut full of friendly stuff that keeps you healthy and happy.

That’s when he told me I do not belong in the world of “squares and lines.” That perhaps I should have a cooking show or a recipe book. You know, get my knowledge out there. He might be right. I feel grateful that my job allows me to use one facet of me, and my hobbies allow me to use another side. Some day they might co-mingle a little more. One of the reasons I didn’t start blogging quicker was because I felt that if I could find all this information, so could you. I’ve been told though, that some people just can’t get into this kind of information and retain/relay it the way I can. That really has to do with interests. My soul loves food and anything to do with it – even kitchen math I’m better at than regular math. There are some subjects (like exercise science) that I could really care less about. I leave that to other people whose souls that sings to.

Anyway, I ordered some kefir grains (not really “grains” they just look like them) – both the water and milk kind. Yes, there is a difference. I will be using coconut milk and water to make kefir until I start purchasing raw milk again. (Then I’ll make kefir ice cream! Oh yeah!) And I’m considering growing my own mushrooms. I did purchase some herbs for the kitchen but I’d like to grow my own for healing (drying, etc.). It’s all really not as ambitious as you think. I think the HOA wouldn’t allow me to own chickens or a goat – though that would help keep insects away and I wouldn’t have to mow… *sigh* Well, I’m not big on pets anyway (except for cats and that's because they're pretty self reliant).

I feel cooking is fun and relaxing. I get to listen to my audio books, music, or talk on the phone while I cook. I know what goes into the food and soil. Maybe it’s the long-lost farmer in my genes. ( Michigan was farmland before it was car-land and my families on both sides were farmers for as far back as I know.) I get to control the ingredients. I get to see something made out of random parts and see how it all fits together. Maybe that’s the engineer part of me (all the men in my family up to my grandparents are engineers).

Recipe part:

Ok, so the ketchup recipe said to use several cups of paste. I’m not sure what was cheaper – canned or homemade. I just decided to go whole hog and make my own paste. I couldn’t find a recipe I liked so I combined two. (I didn't save the sites where I got them from on accident so if this is a combination of yours I need to thank you.)

Here’s my tomato paste I made and it smelled delicious! (I didn’t taste so this could turn out disastrous. I trust my nose though.) I didn't write this down like normal so you'll have to read through it first. (Sorry - I told you my brain wasn't working properly due to the stress!)

Directions:

Throw

1 cup onion, quartered

2 cloves garlic (I might have used 3)

4 red peppers, membrane, stem and seeds removed

Into your food processor. Finely chop everything. Place in a heavy bottomed pan on the stove.

Here’s where it took some time. I peeled the tomatoes, de-seeded them, and discarded the extra water. All 4 lbs of tomatoes.

To peel a tomato you need a pot of boil water. Once you've got the pot to a rolling boil (not a puny boil but big bubbles) stick the tomato in there for a minute, then take it out and put it in the bowl of ice water you have sitting next to you. Wait another minute, then you can peel. Come to find out, you can find canned peeled tomatoes (oh yeah, um, I forgot. Where'd that brain go?), but sometimes I like to do things the hard way. I guess this was one of them.

Then you put the tomatoes in a blender/food processor. Whir until slush. Put the tomato slush in the pan with all the other ingredients. Salt and pepper to taste. Add a few bay leaves (I used 3).

Slow simmer/Boil down for 2 hours. The original recipe said 3.5 hours but when it was really thick I figured it was done. I had it on 3 or 4 on my stove (which goes to 8  not 11, Spinal Tap) the whole time. I might be impatient. Stir once in a while. It’ll make you feel better. I think it also keeps things from sticking on the bottom… but that doesn’t make sense since the acid in tomatoes helps you pull stuff that burned to the bottom of the pan up (deglaze). Whatever.

When it’s thick and pasty add some lemon juice and put it in jars. Make sure to discard the bay leaves before you put the paste in jars.Ta-da! Paste.

And now for yogurt cheese and whey

 

Get some yogurt. I use Stonyfield Whole Milk Yogurt because it was on a recommended list from WAPF and it’s what I can find at my store.

 

Put some cheesecloth in a fine mesh strainer – over a bowl. Dump the entire carton of yogurt into the cheesecloth. Walk away. Just walk away. The whey separates into the bowl and the left over stuff on the cheesecloth is yogurt cheese. I do this process over a work day. When I get home I usually squeeze the remaining whey out of the cheese by ringing it. I think you’re supposed to hang a spoon over the bowl, but my fridge is not deep enough for that and I don’t have bowls that will accommodate that kind of rigging. Go with what you have.

 

The whey lasts for 6 months so mark the jar you put it in and make sure the lid is tight. Then store it in the fridge. Then ferment something with it or use it in homemade formula.

 

The yogurt cheese lasts about a week (I wouldn’t push it longer than that). It can be used whenever you would use cream cheese. So we’re talking herb dips and spreads, mixed to make a chopped meat salad (rather than using mayo), a really nice low-carb no bake cheesecake, jalapenos wrapped in bacon, to make a cheese ball, inside an omelet…  really the possibilities are yummy and endless.

What a post! No pictures (boo!) but you did get to learn how to make 3 things. Yay!

Video sighting!

First, thanks to Kimberly for interviewing me!


This weekend I attended a fabulous meetup group meeting about gluten ("Myths and Truths about Gluten"). The presenter, Dr. Jo (you can find his blog here) was very informative. I learned more about links gluten has to other autoimmune diseases. It was very eye opening. For me this is just another example of continuing my education about health and nutritional awareness. I feel when I stopped eating low carb the first time (after becoming pregnant), it was because I believed all the myths and lies about the damage the low carb lifestyle could do to me. Learning about gluten and other issues that impact my health has firmed my resolve to stick with my choice to remain low carb for life. Vanity can only move your choices so far... eventually you have to find other reasons. Regaining health was huge for me.


I was also able to meet Kimberly Hartke who works as one of our meetup group organizers. She also works heavily with the Weston A. Price Foundation (WAPF) as the publicist. I follow her work. (I am a member of the WAPF.) It's always great to meet other people who are passionate about the same things you are!

Brown Bag lunches

Sometimes I get questions on what I feed Reece. Ever since he was little he's always had the same foods, or similar foods to what I eat. One of his first "whole" foods was actually sauerkraut. As my diet evolves, so does his.  I don't believe in feeding your children "special" foods. I do think that you allow your kid to become a picky eater. He isn't allowed to tell me that he doesn't like something before he tries it. You may have to introduce your kid to a food seven times before they like it. Yes, seven times. Sometimes that means reheating the same food at least twice. Reece is not a picky eater at all. In fact, he can be easily described as a "hearty" eater.

My personal philosophy on kid-rearing is that you need to treat them with respect like you would any other human being. This can be tough; I would like to elaborate on this more in another post.  This does mean that Reece is allowed his own opinion when it comes to food. I respect his opinions. Reece does not care for spicy foods. I love spicy foods. Usually I only cook anything spicy when I'm home alone. However, on occasion I cook something I want that is spicy but it's usually a compromise (and there are some spicy foods he likes).

I ask him if he thinks a dish needs something (Spice perhaps? More meat? Less broth? Cheese? A sauce? Butter?). My mom gets a kick out of his descriptions of food because he is so opinionated about it. He has told me that at certain restaurants he's "disappointed" in the food. I work to make his food experience better and I actively explain why certain foods are better for him. He is not to be rude when I cook something he doesn't like. After a meal if he doesn't care for it he simply says, "Mommy, that was ok for tonight but I would prefer if you didn't make it again." That's code for "I ate it, but I wasn't happy about it." I do also hear "I would love if you made that again, Mommy. That was awesome!" (i.e. Alfredo is is fav. right now.)

I don't always have time to make his lunch. I'm getting better about it, though. I like to put little notes in his lunch box to let him know I'm thinking about him too. The lunch and the note combined make for a nourishing meal for his body and his mind. I make a few different lunches for him. I like to rotate them because I don't want him eating the same thing every day. (How boring!) I do ask for feedback. (What did you eat first? What didn't you eat? Were you full? Is there something you would have liked to have?) I always want to know "why" for his answers. I hate the idea of him throwing away something or trading food. 

Ideas for his main course for lunch are:

Awesome Chili

Nacho salad (meat + cheese + sour cream + vegetable chips + lettuce and salsa mixed up)

Tuna salad (mayo + tuna + sardines) <- I would put spices but he doesn't want them

Crab salad (mayo + crab + spices)

Chicken salad – usually with a sliced fruit and crumbled nuts + mayo or dressing

Cheese + Meat, no crackers

Leftover soup

__________________________

Here’s Reece’s favorite lunch:

Grassfed polish sausage (cooked and cut into little disks)

Homemade honey mustard -> really raw honey + deli style grey poupon stirred until mixed thoroughly (in a 1:2 ratio)

The raw honey gives him extra enzymes to boost his immune system and help digestion. Because the grassfed polish sausage is higher in fat + protein he does not have the wild blood sugar swings he would if he only ate honey on it’s own… Plus he’s just dipping it so he’s not eating a ton of honey. He really doesn’t care about the sides as much. Once he sees the polish sausage, he knows he’s in business.

__________________________

The sides change too. But here’s some examples:

I give him at least 1 savory item in his lunch also. Examples of this are:

Cheese (usually raw from the farmer)

Vegetables and dip (not celery though… he dislikes celery)

Vegetable chips (usually with homemade dip)

Spiced nuts

Deviled eggs (although sometimes these are the actual meal if I put enough in there)

A small side salad + dressing (He loves this)

Savory mini doughnuts (I'll write a post about these later)

I've sent him bacon strips too. He likes that. (I do too.)

A few times a week I will give him 1 sweet treat (which is usually not really that sweet). Examples of this are:

Plain yogurt (organic always) + berries and nuts

Sweet almonds

Chocolate milk (from the farmer)

Homemade cookie

Grapes or another (low sugar) fruit

Apple + almond butter

A couple squares of dark chocolate

To drink usually I'll send him water, kefir smoothie, or  raw milk (which he loves). Over the next couple weeks I'm going to try fermenting more foods and sending him those too. He's been battling a more illnesses this year than in past years. It'd be good to boost his immunity now while he's overcoming some illnesses.

You get the idea, hopefully. It's pretty much what we have in the house. I usually make him his favorite lunch on Wednesdays... when I can. I try to make his lunches higher in carbs than I would eat (more vegetables, some fruit, and more dairy), because he doesn’t need to lose weight. He’s not using hormones to grow wide, his hormones are making him grow taller.** I feel he does better if it’s pretty balanced as far as leaning toward a lot of fat and more protein. He tells me he does better in class if he can think clearly. It's hard to concentrate in school (or life) if you're starving.

** I've noticed when he eats more home-cooked foods, gets CLO, and no gluten he grows. He's now up to my clavicle. I'm growing a giant. :D

Quick Post.

I’m in the middle of writing a final paper for my college class. It’s extremely slow going because I really am not into I/O Psych. I need the class to graduate. Luckily I get to write about what I want. I’m writing about motivation and incentives. So I decided to give myself an incentive for reading all of that research… by writing a blog post! (I actually have a few in the queue to post, but I haven’t had the time to go over them.)

This morning I woke up and looked in the mirror like I do every morning. I have noticed my stomach looks smaller, but I thought maybe it was my imagination. This can be possible because my brain plays tricks on me. Sometimes I think I look smaller when I’m regaining 5 lbs. Then sometimes I feel fat, only to find out I’m 5 lbs lighter than normal. Long ago I decided that my day or my self-confidence for the day would not be dictated by my weight or dress size. That was an extremely hard place to get to as a woman. (I don’t know if this is difficult for men; I’m not one.)

Here’s a small hint to success, no matter what your goal is:

It’s always the tiny choices that build up to something big.

I’ve had a choice at every meal and snack; low carb or not? As my weight loss suggests most of my choices have been low-carb. There have been slips, but overall I’m doing well.

Since my hands keep breaking out (and there’s a post about this coming) from eating gluten, most of my choices since 2 weeks before the end of December have been no gluten. Again, I’m not perfect – but my hands wish I were because every breakout is painful. I think I’ve only slipped 5 times.

Gluten free has allowed me drop 10 lbs and finally overcome the plateau that I’d been rocking for a while. I keep a post-it of my recent measurements. Looking back I did these in the first 2 weeks of January. This morning I only measured my natural waist and my lower abs. I was in a bit of a hurry because I wanted to work out (kettlebell swings 30 sec work 30 sec rest – 10 minutes with planks – front and sides for about 1 minute each) before we got breakfast… We were going to a hockey game for my B-Day.

So uh yeah. My imagination wasn’t playing tricks:

-3”  lower stomach

-2” on my waist

This proves several things for me. 1 - Plateaus in weight loss are stupid to get upset over. (Not that I was. Frustrated was more the word.) 2 - Always find 2 things to measure. I’ve been using inches and lbs. You could use lbs and pictures, or inches and body fat measurements… whatever you choose. 

Also I'm awesome. And finally, the gluten-free thing is good because it's reduced inflammation in my body and allowed me to lose weight again. Also awesome.

I celebrated my inch loss by eating some LC dessert. I rarely ever eat dessert. It’s not my bag, baby… Just like I/O Psychology… which I now have to get back to.

Cod Liver Oil Kid

When Reece was 4 and I started learning about WAPF, I started giving Reece Cod Liver Oil  (CLO) in a shot glass. We would top it with a little juice and we would “belly up to the bar” and have our oil every morning.* I’ve been slacking lately and he reminded me that he misses it. I’ll be purchasing some juice this weekend.

Up until he was 5 and going into kindergarten Reece was in speech therapy. He doesn’t remember it very well, which is nice. I don’t want him to remember struggling to communicate with others. When he was 6 months old he said his first word. Amazing!  I thought. Then at 7 or so months he would say a full sentence and crack me up. After a year and a few months he said another word. Then he just stopped talking. I had him evaluated. At this point he made up his own language and only I could decode it. Part of it was that he just didn’t see the point in learning to talk. I understood him.

A lot of the people that evaluated him hinted that he might be autistic or have ADD/ADHD in addition to having the speech problems. I did not push the issue and have him tested for either. It can be debated another time whether that action was stupid, careless, or ingenious. My numerous reasons are too lengthy and personal to explain in this blog.

Prior to eating more WAPF style I was trying to be a low-fat vegetarian. I had gained weight (going low-fat vegetarian really helped me pack on the pounds) and I was trying to be healthy. This way of living did not suit me or my child.

I was actually scared to pick up that Nourishing Traditions book. I was afraid to change because I was tired of being wrong and getting sick because of it. The book's cover hinted that what I thought I thought was good was wrong. I already had an inkling that was the case. I looked around me to see if anyone was watching and I snatched that book up. How could something like that be in plain view?! I thought. Who else knows about this?! I read that book cover to cover at least twice. Now it looks... um, loved. It has splatters, stains, and folded edges. I guess loved is pretty accurate at this point.

When we started eating more fat, Reece’s development rapidly improved (and so did my health). The farm food we both loved for several reasons. The taste and quality were wonderful, but we both stopped getting so sick and our digestion improved a lot. The CLO really clinched it. I sold him hard on it too.  I told him he would develop powers similar to the guys in the Incredibles (run fast, see far, become super smart, etc.) because that’s what he was into at the time. I wasn’t lying when I told him these things would happen. CLO does some pretty awesome things.  

Originally I was really afraid he wouldn’t drink it. I didn’t have a lot of money to spare at the time for things we wouldn't use (which was another reason I was hesitant about the book). We were always sick and I had to take off work to take both of us to the doctor. I was very stressed out. I am really thankful that I didn’t second guess myself and put that book down. I am much more laid back than I used to be and Reece is healthier from all the changes.

Most people don’t even know that he ever had developmental delays. In first grade he missed testing into 5^th grade reading level by one word: meteorologist. He’s also the tallest in his class. In Kindergarden he told me he was angry because everyone else was able to stay home sick and he wasn't because he didn't get sick. He told me he wanted to spend time with me. (aw!) I don’t know where we would be if we continued down the same road we were going before WAPF and CLO.

He doesn’t really care about super powers anymore. That stage of development is complete. He tells me that he feels a difference when he takes CLO and when he doesn’t. That’s pretty big. He told me he misses it. He may not care if it gives him superpowers, but to me it’s amazing stuff.

Cheers!

*Once he got older I started taking pills because it really was hard for me to swallow the oil sans pill. I would have to gag when he wasn’t looking. I figured that face was going to turn him off the oil which I wanted him to take. He complains when the juice masks the taste of the oil. I think that's a little... odd.

Roasted Mushroom Bisque with Turkey

I’ve purchased a lot of recipe books. Well, ok, I have a ton of books in general, but some of them are cookbooks. The problem with gluten free books, or any allergy books is that they aren’t usually low carb. You want a substitution? Great, here’s some more options; try rice flour, corn flour (don’t we eat enough corn?!)… You get the idea. Not very low-carb.

So when I come across simple but delicious looking recipes, I can’t help but make them over. Why should I miss out on good food just because I’m gluten/dairy/carb intolerant?! You shouldn’t either.

Earlier I made some stuffed mushrooms but I didn’t make the second batch like I had planned. The mushrooms weren’t pretty enough to stuff, but they hadn’t gone bad. What to do?

So here is my made over Roasted Mushroom Bisque with Turkey.* It wasn’t a quick dish because I'm a slow-poke. 15 minute recipes? They always turn out to be 30 - 45 minutes. (Why can't I chop faster?!) It’s Saturday so I had time. I bet you could make it ahead of time and enjoy it with a tuna salad on a weeknight. The ideas continue...

Roasted Mushroom Bisque with Turkey

1 carton of button mushrooms, chopped

½ a large onion, chopped

3 gloves garlic

4 sprigs fresh rosemary

3 TBSP EVOO

salt and pepper

1 carton chicken broth (or homemade 4 cups)

1 bag of frozen cauliflower (or 1 chopped head of cauliflower)

2 TBSP (or more) of butter

2 stalks of celery, chopped

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Place the mushrooms, onion, garlic, and rosemary on the sheet. (If you do not have the large onions, use a few small ones, or some onion powder will do. The same with the garlic. I also used dried rosemary. I mean, come on - use what you’ve got.) Drizzle with the EVOO and salt and pepper. Toss to coat and then spread in a single layer on the pan.

The first batch of mushrooms I burned (25 minutes). The second batch I cooked for 15 minutes and they turned out well. You just want them browned a bit. If the edges of the ones in the pan are looking burned you’ve left it in there too long.

Next in a large soup pot put the butter, celery and cauliflower in the pot. Cook the vegetables until soft. Add a little salt for taste. Then pour the broth into the pot and bring to a boil and then simmer (and put a lid on it) until the mushrooms are done.

I like to rinse my turkey breasts off. Then I placed them in a glass pan with some water. When the mushrooms are done add them to the pot. Put the lid back on. Put the turkey in the oven for 30 minutes. 

Once the turkey is done, turn off the pot. Puree the contents of the pot. I did this with a blender and then transferred the contents into another bowl. If I had a hand-held blender I wouldn’t have made such a big miss in the kitchen. Oh well…

Chop up the turkey and serve.

Now for some food porn:

I bet you could season the turkey or use a rotisserie chicken. You could leave it out and use it as a side dish... but once I started I wanted a simple meal. Plus I used up all of the miscellaneous ingredients in the fridge. That always feels awesome.

*The original recipe came from the beautiful book “Cooking for Isaiah.” While all of the recipes I cannot eat because they are high carb, the pictures are stunning. Also, I enjoyed reading about the relationship the author has with her child and food. I too believe you can heal through eating properly. I just hope she doesn’t mind if I keep remaking her recipes!!

Unstuffed cabbage. (AKA Uncovered piggies next to a blanket.)

My mother is a great cook. She taught me how to cook, so she’s got to be good. Her mother is also a fantastic cook. My mom and her mom are of Polish heritage. Without the internet to look up recipes, my grandmother only cooked Polish food. My mom didn’t have spaghetti at home until one of my aunts (her older sister) came home with the recipe. Mom said she was in middle school or high school. The majority of foods I know by heart are from my mom. The exception is sloppy joes that my dad taught me. My comfort foods involve cabbage in some form.

The few Polish words I know generally have to do with food. Gołąbki is rolled cabbage. (Gulumpki is the best way I can explain how to say it in print.) Gołąbki are what my family calls “pigs in a blanket.” (This is a normal translation from what I understand.) When I was in high school some kids were having a party I was attending. They told me they would be serving pigs in a blanket. I was so excited! I love pigs in a blanket!! So, I was so confused when they pointed to hot dogs wrapped in dough. HUH? I understood the correlation after looking at those hot dogs, but I really was expecting cabbage rolls. That was the beginning of realizing some of the words I knew were Polish and not English. Let’s not even talk about babushkas.

Cabbage is low- carb. The rice inside these piggys in their tasty blankets is not. Omit the rice, or replace it with shredded cauliflower (faux rice), and you have a low-carb meal… but it’s time consuming. Hours and hours. That’s why I love when my mom comes and makes a huge batch to freeze for me! (Thanks mom!)

I really need to credit Dana Carpenter with the original unstuffed recipe. I had never thought to slice up the cabbage and cook it as a skillet style recipe. Ingenious!

So, without further delay – because I know you’re salivating! Here’s my uncovered piggies next to a blanket:

1 medium diced onion (you can use ½ tsp onion powder if you didn’t have any onions)

1 – 2 bay leaves

salt and pepper to taste

½ a head of cabbage, chopped

1-2 lbs of ground beef (preferences here – the boys like very meaty foods so I use more. I prefer equal amounts of cabbage to my beef but I guess we all can’t have what we want)

½ tsp of garlic cloves, minced

1 tbsp lemon juice

½ tsp of the following spices (you can add more per preference – I would say more of everything but the cinnamon and nutmeg actually):

Ground Cloves

Nutmeg

Cinnamon

Celery salt

Ground coriander seed

A whole lot of butter

1 can of tomato sauce – look for the lowest carb one you can find

Brown the meat and set it aside. Drain all the fat out of the pan. (I just can’t stand grocery store meat fat.) Put butter in the bottom of your pan. Probably more butter than you think you need. (I probably used at least 2 tbsp at first, and kept adding it.) This is where you cook the onions if you have them. Let them cook for two minutes or until they’re nice, soft and translucent. Then put your chopped cabbage into the skillet. Mix it around and let it get soft and buttery. This takes around 5 minutes on medium. You will notice the cabbage cooks down, so you can add it in batches if you need to. If you add more cabbage, add more butter.  Then sprinkle the spices over the cabbage and mix. After that’s warmed up add the meat back. Then add the tomato sauce. Heat everything up together and serve warm. Ta-da!

Don’t eat the bay leave. bleck. (But leave it in there overnight if you made extras… oooh!)

Here’s some food porn! Enjoy. 

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!!!

One of my resolutions is to blog more often. Like most resolutions people make, I’m not sure this is going to work out. It’s more like a wish at this point. Really, I’m just aiming for the first couple weeks. I have a chance it might be habit by then. Good luck to all of us!

One of the first things I’d like to talk about was a comment I had made during my speech about eating upwards of 5000 calories in a day. This has been bothering me.  A lot.

Right now my calorie range is around 2,500 to 2,800 calories; I’m guessing. The last time I put food into a food log was probably last summer. I’m really not interested in tracking my intake. To me, calories don’t matter. They never have. Counting calories did not work before so I don’t know why it would now. I don’t have the willpower to starve myself. I can’t function hungry. I am doing this for life, so I refuse to starve myself for life. Besides, is it really a life worth living without things like low-carb cheesecake and bacon?!?!?!

One of the things that I fantasized about when I started losing weight through low carb eating was that I would be THAT GIRL who eats whatever she wants and still stays thin. At least, I wanted to appear like I ate anything I wanted. With the rest of the world eating low fat/high carb, watching me eat I do look like I eat what I want. Most days I eat eggs, bacon, and sausage for breakfast. On Saturdays I have steak and eggs (with broccoli drenched in butter). On weekdays I drink coffee in the morning, as is standard for the people in my industry. Lunch and dinner vary but are high fat containing (and filling!). I like the looks people give me as I eat breakfast because I feel like they’re waiting for my arteries to explode in front of their eyes… or maybe my pants will burst open like a certain commercial. I keep eating that way, and I keep getting smaller. So the joke is on them!

In the beginning two weeks of eating I did track my food. I did not know what was low-carb and what wasn’t. I had an idea, but you need to be that specific when learning a new skill. Eating and cooking this way is a skill. Sometimes you have to go back to basics (like learning basic English in college). There were some days I was surprised that I ingested something that had more carbs than I wanted to eat. I had to learn how some foods were packaged and what slowed my weight loss down. I was shocked when a few of those days in the beginning I had ate 5000 calories. I swore the number was wrong or that I input more servings than I had consumed.

But it was right. I felt a little ashamed, and the next day vindicated. Derek had been worried about me eating low carb for health reasons. He was also concerned it wasn't going to work. (He is now one of my biggest supporter and really believes this works.) I was very overweight in the beginning. I am sure anytime you see someone stuffing their face like the world is going to end it can seem scary no matter their weight. It felt like I was on a see-food diet (see it and eat it). I felt like I was starving. Derek had never seen me eat so voraciously. Those days I ate that much, most of the calories were fat (1 g = 9 calories). The next day after eating so much, I lost usually around 3 lbs (for the day). One day I lost 7 lbs! That’s when the light bulb clicked in my head. That’s when I realized calories don’t matter.

I have read/heard that it’s not “you are what you eat.” It’s “you are what you do with what you eat.” I think that my body had been starving for proper nutrition for a long time. If insulin is circulating in your body heavily (you can tell it is if you have extra fat that is unwanted hanging around) then it’s hard for you to get the right nutrients to your body. You need to eat when you're hungry when you're low carb. There is a reason your body is telling you to eat, no matter what plan your on. It's not proper to ignore the call of food. When I ignored the angry-belly call, I didn't lose weight. When I tried to curb eating and set my fork down early, I didn't lose weight. It's when I ate until I was comfortably full that I lost the most weight. This remains true today. Eat at night before bed, wake up and eat, snack and then eat huge meals... I still ignore the standard rules of when to eat and when not to eat that conventional wisdom tells us.

My rules? If you are hungry eat. Eat lots of fat.

Holiday weight gain... and the reverse. (and a bit of a rant)

Thanksgiving! Christmas! Holidays! I can’t wait! I made an entire meal plan last year and I kept the recipes just for these occasions. The kids were at the house this year. Up until last Thursday, my son has been begging for Thanksgiving to come sooner; all of his favorite foods at the same time in one spot! He even loves the leftovers and the meals that go with them. Of course the menu is low-carb and decadent. Pumpkin cheesecake, Sausage stuffing, Maple-brined turkey with gravy, green beans with portabella mushrooms, roasted sweet potatoes, and the list goes on… And yes, I ate until I was full. I didn't feel the urge to overeat. And I actually lost about 3 lbs this past weekend.

One thing is missing from my holiday menu: Guilt. I no longer know the meaning when it comes to my weight or food. This is especially true after the holidays. I promise to not worry about the scale, not even a little bit. My holiday wish is the same for you. In fact, like last year, I expect to lose weight during the holidays. You see, there is a swimsuit related event planned around Christmas. My biggest issue right now is - Do I order a swim suit in a smaller size than I am in now or do I buy one in the size I'm at now? Tough choices. I've lost so much weight the swimsuit I had no longer fits. Wearing it puts me in danger of flashing the entire world - and this is a family friendly event! (Either way I need a new swimsuit.)

I changed my lifestyle almost 2 years ago (March 2009), and last year the holiday season was no different than the rest of the year. I ate what I liked, left out the carbs that made me feel horrible, and lost more weight. One of my New Year’s resolutions was to buy new clothes because I had lost so much weight I couldn’t fit into my old ones. My resolutions have had nothing to do with losing weight, or adding exercise. I have planned another large shopping trip for January of 2011.

There really is nothing psychological about weight loss, except for deciding it’s a lifestyle change. After that, it’s a cakewalk. For me it was a low-carb cheesecake-walk. If it’s true most people regain the weight, perhaps it’s because biologically they are on the wrong path. I feel like the extra energy, the better quality sleep, the satiety hours after eating, the lifted brain fog are all enough reason to stay with your low-carb life style.

When I eat, I don’t get hungry for at least another 6 hours, sometimes more. I don’t obsess about food and I am not OCD about meal plans anymore. (Although, I still love to cook and make menus, now I don't worry if plans change.) I have the flexibility to eat where and when I want. I eat until I’m full and stop when I get there. I cannot think of one time in the past year where I’ve had so much that I felt uncomfortably stuffed. I do not feel like I’m starving or food is scarce. Biologically, it’s ok for me to shed fat because times are good. Food and I are friends now, accomplices if you will, not frenemies. Unless I’m talking to someone else who is low-carb, or naturally thin, I rarely hear the same thing when it comes to food.

Why can’t we just stop focusing on the fat? Why are we so obsessed? Is it the carb-crazies that makes us OCD about anything surrounding food? Why in one of the countries with the larges amount of surplus of food do we constantly worry about where our next meal is going to be coming from? Do you think everyone in the world is obsessed about counting calories? Does your skinny friend do that? Then why should you? I certainly don’t. Another thing I don’t do is eat a dessert and end up on the treadmill or elliptical for hours. I do not understand punishing yourself for being human.

What I am saying is find a lifestyle that you can live with so that you’re not constantly berating yourself for your choices. If you want to lose weight, I’m with you. (And if you don’t want to lose weight, I respect that choice too.) I have yet to figure out exactly why people think losing weight is difficult and is supposed to be so hard. From what I can gather, it’s because of that puritanical view to criticize yourself for anything slightly hedonistic, to include food. “If it’s good for you, it must be bad.” I just don’t believe it’s supposed to be like that. Ask the French… and while you’re at it, check their waistlines.

I’ve heard a tall tale that children hate vegetables and are picky eaters. My son hates celery, mushrooms, some peppers (depends on how they are cooked and how visible they are) and olives. That’s pretty much it. He loves broccoli, carrots, peas, spinach, squash, sweet potatoes, dill pickles, spinach, asparagus if it's cooked right (and many, many other vegetables). He also loves macadamia nuts, eggs, coconut oil, full fat yogurt, cheese and milk, steak, bacon, turkey, fish… you get the point. I’m not going to make him feel tortured when it’s time to eat. I eat what I like, and so does he. There are no fights at the kitchen table over food. He always tells me I'm the best cook. I assume that's partially because Derek likes my cooking and always tells me that too. I do hear the occasional grumble prior to an initial taste if it “looks weird.” After that first bite my kid is usually on board with me – taste trumps looks always. Good smells increase the happiness. I don’t deprive his body of nutrition or make him feel bad about his choices… now there is a way to mess him up psychologically!

Please, please; do yourself a favor this holiday season - practice the same kindness towards yourself as you do your loved ones. For some people this will be a stretch... for those of you with less than kind relationships with your loved ones, um... How about we all try to treat ourselves like we are deserving of love? That's really where it all starts. If you slip up and you don't eat right, look yourself in the eye, say some kind words and start over again. Don't give yourself an excuse to fail - this is your life!

It's almost December, and I will still make cookies from the leftover mashed sweet potatoes for the boys. I really don't care about sweets; I'm a savory/salty gal. This past weekend I made myself some stuffed mushrooms as my treat. Although I think Derek likes them more than I do. I'll also make some jalapeno poppers for me, since I'm the only person who likes them. I will spend time cooking with my son and Derek making something for the entire family that is delicious. (Dinners made together and watching a Netflicks movie are actually my favorite date nights right now.)

And for my present? Serve yourself something special just for you - minus the guilt - too.

Endometriosis… the sad tales of a chick in pain

This post is going to border on TMI. Ok, it basically dances all over TMI. I’m hoping that if you know and love, or even slightly like someone with these female issues that this might help you find some answers too.

I don’t know what I was thinking when I was younger. On Father’s Day, the year I was 13, I “became a woman” and started menstruating. I was really excited. That meant that I was growing up. I was almost the last girl in my class (that was a big deal). I didn’t want to get left behind.

The pain

It was exactly around that time that my back started hurting. It was a constant burning, dull, aching pain. I would complain to my parents about how much it hurt. Because my parents listened to me, I got a new bed. I got new bras. They tried everything. By the time I was in high school the pain was unbearable. It was constant, but around my periods it was the worst.

Diagnosis

By the time I was in 10^th grade, after the doctor trying everything (ulcers, IBS, etc.) I was diagnosed with endometriosis. It’s an autoimmune disease where the lining of your uterus does not 1. grow in the proper places 2. the signals from your body have it “bleed” into improper places in your body instead of out of you 3. can cause damage to your fertility if not treated properly. (https://health.google.com/health/ref/Endometriosis)

Treatment

That year I had surgery (exploratory pelvic laparoscopy) where they removed a cup of blood and 4 “growths.” They then proceeded to put me on birth control pills to regulate my hormones. That did not work completely. I took pills so I didn’t have a period for a year. Immediately after high school I had break through bleeding for 2 months. Straight. I was worried. This was a reoccurring issue for another year. The Army gave me injections to induce menopause. The explanation was so things would “dry up.” I am the only woman I know that knows what menopause will feel like before it happens.

A month after the injections wore off, I got pregnant. This was a surprise to everyone. I had been told my chances of having a child were slim to none and none was winning.

In the past 8 years I have lived almost pain-free.

Things that did not help:

I read a book about endometriosis that talked about ending my love with dairy products, especially cheese. That was very difficult to do – and did not help.

The same book suggested I eat less meat. Also, not very helpful. As soon as I started focusing my eating more towards a vegetarian diet I was in a lot of pain. Also on that same note – soy exacerbated the problem immensely.

I have not noticed a difference with more exercise in my life. The book and websites said that I should strive to get “enough” daily exercise. Large amounts of exercise only made me more tired and unable to cope with the pain.

Acetaminophen, OTC pain relievers – I still hate taking them. They did nothing to dull the pain and always upset my stomach.

Birth Control pills – I think that on top of a high-carb/low-fat diet, they forced my hormones to fluctuate wildly.

Things that have helped:

Having a baby. Seriously. Pregnancy was admittedly rough. I was very sick. I think I would eat differently and take better care of myself (relax more) to make it easier if I had to do it all over again. I don't recommend this if you're not ready yet, of course.

Breastfeeding also prolonged the lack of pain. I breastfed my son for 18 months.

I have a copper IUD. No extra hormones messing with my natural ones.

The biggest difference: CHANGING MY DIET TO LOW CARB!!! I am virtually pain-free today. Atkins worked miracles for my endometriosis. I don’t lose weight during my period, which is normal. (I did call the Atkins’ hotline and ask about that.) But, I still lose inches, and I don’t hurt. I eat cheese too!  I eat a lot of meat, eggs and tons of fat during my period because I need the vitamins. Also, my cycle was about 21 days when I was heavier. It’s now 25 after almost 2 years of low carb. I definitely think the difference is my diet. I do not eat legumes anymore either. That also improved the pain cycle.

PMS symptoms

I do occasionally have breast tenderness. That actually makes up a large amount of surface area on me (no matter what my size), which makes for uncomfortable times. I started taking iodine after hearing Jimmy Moore’s podcast (http://livinlavidalowcarb.com/blog/%E2%80%98livin%E2%80%99-la-vida-low-carb-show%E2%80%99-episode-283-dr-jorge-flechas-says-iodine-deficiency-is-a-real-health-crisis/5801) concerning iodine. I read a lot of information about it before adding it. That one pill helped a lot of other pain issues I had too. (I used to have deep in the bone/tissue pain in my arms and legs. I don’t anymore with the iodine.) There is no pain prior to my period. Another thing that helped was taking high vitamin butter + fermented cod liver oil. I’ve noticed that it reduces the inflammation and gives me more energy.

I used to be very cranky and, um, not-nice prior to my period. (And since it’s a short cycle, that would make me a bad person to be around.) My moods are very even now that I’ve changed my diet to low-carb. I do feel more run down during that time and hungry, but I feel that’s my body’s way of telling me to slow down and focus on taking care of myself.

Something I’m trying:

After reading these two articles on the Weston A. Price Foundation’s website (http://www.westonaprice.org/womens-health/641-wise-choices-healthy-bodies.html and http://www.westonaprice.org/womens-health/637-treating-heavy-bleeding-and-fibroids.html) , I’m taking a double dose of cod liver oil (see above) during this period. I would like to see if it improves the heavier bleeding and cuts my period days down. I am also hoping that it will make my cycle longer. I am not sure that the oil I take now is high enough in Vitamin A to sufficiently do this. I may have to try it with another higher vitamin cod liver oil. I’ve noticed a lot of the health issues I have could possibly be attributed to low vitamin A. We’ll see how I do. I’ll keep you posted. 

__________ Update: 29 November 2010_____________

The cod liver oil helped some. I think the extra sleep I got for the month also helped. I cut the days down by 2 and added an extra 2 days to my cycle. That's actually super awesome and I am very pleased. Then I went more paleo (-any grains, -dairy) for the last couple days and felt even better. No matter what you read about endometriosis and diet, it's no different than other auto-immune diseases. You basically need optimum nutrition to function optimally. 

___________Update: 20 January 2011 ______________
Gluten free was definitely the way to go. When you have one autoimmune disease its easy to get another one. That's something you actually have to watch for... A strange rash on my hands appears when I eat gluten, so I've cold-turkey ended that. Now it really upsets my stomach if I eat gluten. My hands tend to be part of my livelihood (typing) so I can't just ignore them. Also, my cycle is now officially 27 days long. The extra cod liver oil might have corrected something internally. I only took it for that month. I'm really glad I did that. I've noticed now that I do not eat gluten I am not feeling bloated days before my period. I am sure I am still retaining water. Actually, I used to hold on to up to 10 lbs every cycle before low carb - and now it's exact every time. 3 lbs. That's it. Now I don't need "fat pants" ever. I still eat eggs and dairy (ugh! so addicted to those things!) and I'm starting to add more fermented foods and organ meats to my lists of foods to eat. It's an evolving menu plan.