13 September 2010

Stress, Illness, and Excuses...

I can admit I am stressed. In psychology they say that stress exacerbates psychological issues. That's usually when people look for outside help. In one of my classes we took a stress test. I scored the highest, but felt it the least. How is that possible?

When I was younger stress would take me out. I also was going to school then too, except it was high school and some college. I participated in sports and had 2 jobs (voluntarily). I was also in after school clubs (i.e. Thespian Society and band) among other things. The food I ate was not the best; I was obsessed with low-fat. That's all I knew. I'm not shocked I had acne flare ups, weak nails and my weight fluctuated so much. I felt like I was on high alert. all. the. time. Also, I have Endometriosis (auto-immune disease for lady parts). So I had raging hormones to contend with beyond being a "normal" teenager. I was sick a lot, and really unhappy with my appearance. (I do attribute that last part to being a teenage girl though.) It wouldn't take much for me to get angry or upset. It was a horrible roller-coaster.

I go to work full time. I'm basically a single-mom (although Derek helps a lot!) and I'm going to school full time. If they ever invent the transporter a la Star Trek, I will find a way to squeeze more into my life. I think I'm just wired that way. I'm still buy; just a different busy now. But it seems now that things don't phase me. It takes a lot to shock, anger or just upset me. It also never ruins a whole day. Originally I attributed it to being through so much in my life and finally gaining my frontal lobe. (That's the portion of your brain that stops growing after 25 and allows you to forecast your future.) I have a different theory now: My body is no longer in survival mode. It's not starving. I'm well fed and my body can thrive. I get the nutrients I need so it can now relax and so can my mind. I still get anxious, but not to the extremes that I did before. I think clearly and I can worry about things beyond my next meal. My body thinks food is plentiful (and it is) so my mind / body can relax now.... Ahhhh!

I used to get so sick. Anything and everything going around I caught. Sometimes I felt like my body was making up extra colds for it's enjoyment. Now I have an iron-clad immune system. I sit next to people who are hacking up a lung because they are so sick and I never have so much as a sniffle. I've considered licking their keyboard as an experiment (n=1). I decided to stick to social norms and have refrained.

So now with all that in mind... It seems I have a lot of room for excuses to not take care of myself or indulge in some "carby goodness" (as Derek calls it). Now look back at my life. Does it look like I can afford to take the time to be sick? Does it look like I have time to panic? Acne takes more time to cover in the morning. One broken nail and the whole look is ruined. Who needs an auto-immune flare up? Not this chick.

I have plenty of excuses to never go high-carb again. Even if I never reach my weight loss goal weight. I'm in charge of more of my life now than I've ever been. And that, by the way, is a tenet of happiness... control and mastery of one's own life. (Check out Daniel Gilbert's Stumbling On Happiness - one of my favorite books about psychology.)

"Excuses are like... "

Marines and some older Army guys know a lot of interesting phrases. This was one of my ex-boyfriend's favorite. Basically it ends with "everyone has them and they all stink." So, what are yours? What can you do to turn them around? Where are you not sticking to your promises to yourself? Where are you giving yourself less than the absolute best? What is it that you're not willing to give up?

Basically it comes to my health. I'm not willing to compromise my health. And you can bet your adorable little bottom that I am ecstatic about my (low-carb) life!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment